DBT's 4 Modules

As mentioned in previous posts I have started a program called Dialectical Behaviour Therapy for the treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder. 

In doing this blog I hope to share what I can about the program and it's contents as well as demonstrate how I use the skills that I learn in the training throughout my everyday borderline life. 

There are 4 modules within DBT which are Core Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation and Distress Tolerance. So far I have completed the 'Interpersonal Effectiveness' training and I’m in the next module named 'Distress Tolerance' now. 

Unfortunately one 8 week stint is not going to make you an expert in any one of these areas which is why the program repeats after 6 months. My trainers say the first time round is just getting the information into your head and practicing baby steps. After the first round you can choose to repeat. After doing not so well in the Interpersonal Effectiveness area I am looking forward to the next round as it is, sadly, my weakness. 

From what I learned it appears the main factor involved in Interpersonal Effectiveness is discovering what your priorities are first when it comes to confronting someone, asking for something or saying no to a request. Your priority could be your self-respect, it could be maintaining the relationship with the other person involved or your main goal could be you want an objective met. When you find what your priority is then you put in place the system in which you need to achieve it. 

I’m certainly no expert in this area and I have rarely used these steps but I will give an example of what I understand from the training. If for example you need to confront someone, ask for something or say no to a request but the person you are dealing with is someone you wish to maintain your relationship with you need to use something called the GIVE skill. GIVE is an acronym for:

                                be GENTLE
                                show INTEREST
                                VALIDATE
                                use an EASY MANNER

This principle can even be used just to maintain relationships. For me just being around my child I need to use this skill. I find it difficult to sit and listen to him and I’m pretty sure I don’t validate him enough so I really appreciate this skill. When I’m using GIVE I can feel each factor in the skill just come naturally when I am mindful not to have anything interrupt me when he talks to me. I would normally tell him to hurry up or that his stories were too long. I would also not believe what he was saying or interrupt him. Now when I use GIVE I make sure I put everything down and turn my body so that I am looking directly at him. I use an easy and gentle manner and ensure I nod, say ' uh hum' or 'oh yeah' and appropriate positive words that show I am listening completely. I also validate him by saying things like 'oh wow, that's great' or 'that must've felt awesome'. Normally I would also drift off as his stories would stretch, but aiming to use the GIVE skill I try to keep on track and remain focused. If I do feel that he is telling lies or exaggerating I either ignore it or ask for more information to clarify the situation. 

This wonderful GIVE skill also helps me incredibly when it comes to greeting my husband after a long day at work. When he comes home I ensure I use this skill and lately I have found it of great benefit. 

Thanks for reading.