Today's skills

In the last post I wrote about rating skills. It has made me more mindful of what skills I have done, what I have competently done and what I have just simply thought of today. The following skills I would probably rate high, perhaps a 5 or 6 in my diary card (refer to the last post about skill ratings).

  Played with my doggies

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distracting with an activity)

 Hung out 4 loads of washing (huge deal for me as I have anxieties about looking like an idiot out in my backyard for the neighbours to laugh at - weird I know)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distracting with an activity)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (acting opposite to emotion)

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (maintaining self respect by being an independent, capable woman instead of relying on my husband to do it)

Looked at flower slideshow images on Youtube

Skill - Core Mindfulness (observing)

Skill - Core Mindfulness (being non-judgmental, one mindful and effective)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - vision/seeing)

Used GIVE skills with my son

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (GIVE)

Burned oils (relaxation blend of lavender, bergamot and geranium)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - smell)

So there are my skills for today. I actually did a few which is good and I also radically accepted something that was out of my control and also none of my business. Quite happy about it. Perhaps I will post about it tomorrow. Till next time.

My skills for today

Well here I am posting what skills I have done for today. In actual fact I've had a good day and I'm relieved because it's the anniversary of something dear to me which could have turned into a day of mourning and ruminating. By distracting and self soothing the day has crept by without a thought to have those negative emotions and even while typing now I can just continue to distract by blogging and contributing to those out there who may have BPD like I do. Perhaps in a way I am suppressing the anniversary or thoughts of it but if it's getting me through the day then that's what I'm doing. 

One thing I do find interesting about feeling good today is I didn't feel this way yesterday. That in itself is a bit of a wake up call to me because one of my cheerleading statements that I often don't believe is 'you won't feel this sad forever'. This good feeling that I'm having today is proof right here, right now that things can be ok, things do change and emotions do really change even when you think it is absolutely not possible. I have noted also that a few times today I have thought 'well this feeling good won't last forever either' and even though that may be true I can think of ways in which to be unmindful of worries. This is a skill in the DBT module of Emotion Regulation where you can think about positives that have happened in your life and things that you are grateful for to distract from those worries.I like to also do an achievement list which I find useful as well.

So here's what skills I used today: 

 I pat the cat

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - touch/feel)

 I tidied the house up a bit 
(this is a permanent deal I have with my psychologist in order to keep my self respect in tact, to be an independent, capable adult and to ensure I am not making excuses so my husband can do it all)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distract by doing an activity)

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (FAST - a tool for maintaining self respect) 

 

 To do cleaning I had to use opposite to emotion action because I really didn't want to do it

Skill - Emotion Regulation (opposite to emotion action)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (willingness)

  Did some writing (generally everyday I write a few things I'm grateful for and a 'what was positive today' list)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distract by doing an activity)

 I did some describing, non-judgmentally, of sounds around me
Skill - Core Mindfulness (describe)
Skill - Core Mindfulness (non-judgmental)

More tomorrow.

As promised - 5 skills for today

So here I am a few hours after writing my last post with my promised 5 skills. It helps that today I had no work so I did make this promise to myself to choose at least 5 to do today so that I am still in touch with these incredible skills that really help me get through my BPD journey. 

Today I especially chose skills that were going to be relaxing as well as distracting. I have so many things going on in my head today the last thing I want to do is add stimulating activities to my thought processes. 

Here we go:

 Reading (today I read more of Debbie Corso's blog)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distract by doing an activity)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (one thing in the moment)

 Burned incense (relaxation blend of Geranium, Lavender and Bergamot)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - smell)

Listened to relaxing music (Life of Trees)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - hear/listen)

 I blogged

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distract by contributing)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distract by doing an activity)

I did some guided imagery (Ocean Escape)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (improving the moment with imagery)

Stay tuned for my 5 skills tomorrow.  

Day 6 of my super cool challenge

I call this my super cool challenge because I have in all honesty enjoyed it a great deal.

Before I put my pictures up of the skills I used today I just wanted to say a bit about one of my aims today, which was being non-judgmental. When you're in DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) the goals on your daily diary card have ratings. So if you do any skill they are each rated from 0-6 (0 = did not even think of skill and 6 = did the skill competently and it helped). My non-judgmental stance was about a 3.5. The reason I am putting this as one of my skills today is because I used it. I didn't do a crash hot job at it but I was extremely aware I was being judgmental and I changed what I thought in my head. I didn't reprimand myself for being rude/stereotyping and impatient because that's judging also but I did change what I originally thought to a non-judgmental thought.

Usually the pictures I put up here are skills that I do and put down about a 5 or 6 rating in my diary card. I thought it would be of benefit to post the above because sometimes we do get a 3 rating or even a 2 or 1. As long as we are thinking of using the skills we are putting them into motion. And sometimes that is the best we can do and that's ok. 

So here are my skills for the day.

 Attempted using a non-judgmental stance

Skill - Core Mindfulness (n0n-judgmental)

 Avoided using drugs or alcohol. 

I have battled with alcohol abuse for 21 years and marijuana on and off for about 13 years.

Off the marijuana now since Sept 2012 and I have about 3 drinks a month now. Yay me!

Skill - Emotion Regulation (avoiding mood altering drugs)

Was completely aware of what I was doing (I guess you could call it Mindfulness).

When making my salad at lunch today I was aware of every little thing I did from opening the fridge, to getting a knife, to lighting the stove. Quite calming and it keeps you focused on the now.

Skill - Core Mindfulness (one thing in the moment)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (awareness - guidelines for accepting reality)

 

 I contributed today by emailing the Principal trainer of my now ex DBT class and shared a worksheet that I designed based on what I'd learned and an article about meditation/ mindfulness to him for him to share with my ex classmates. 

Skill - Distress Tolerance (contributing)

Contributed to my blog which I do honestly hope helps people who may be going through some similar things to me.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (contributing)

 

 I tried Guided Imagery (just by youtubing the words 'guided imagery').

I'm not usually great at conjuring up images in my head on my own but I felt that because someone was talking me through it, it helped.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (Improve the Moment - Imagery)

Now this was fun. I did origami for the first time in my adult life.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Tip - when you wake every morning write a little note that has about 10 different skills that you could choose to do during the day (you don't have to do them all but attempt some).
Tip - change them daily
Tip - pick 1 or 2 that you specifically want to aim at accomplishing 

Those tips above keep me motivated to attempt what I can. Hope that helps. 

One last thing I wanted to say is that I have been told (by my psychologist) that I am a master at using the skills when I'm not in a crisis. It's when I'm in a predicament that these skills just seem to become out of my grasp. So like I have said many times before I practice these daily so that they are there ready to grab in crisis (fingers crossed). This means my last tip to you would be PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE. 

Till tomorrow (final day of challenge).

Day 5

In a bit of a funk today. Just sad. I had a horrible night's sleep and something bad happened to me which I never ever want to speak about to anyone. I still managed to do skills today. My main focus was to self soothe and to distract. It helped that I worked a few hours so that kept me busy. The skills I've posted before today that I still enjoyed doing were meditation, playing with play dough, burning candles, and doing my tax (yeah I actually enjoyed doing my tax - it was distracting). There were skills also that I wish I used especially observing and describing my emotions. Wish I did that one because while in KMart today I just had to have a cry and even though that's not bad I would've liked to use some skills to stop. Anyway, so here are some other skills I did on my 5th day of the challenge.  

Enjoy!

 I woke up this morning thinking how awesome it was that I didn't have to work until 3pm but as soon as I opened my eyes I saw a text for another job. Didn't want to do it but I did it anyway. 

Skill - Emotion Regulation (opposite to emotion action)

Sang loudly in the car to some pretty funky, explosive music

Skill - Distress Tolerance (distracting with opposite emotions)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (opposite to emotion action

 Probably my most favourite thing was to finally put together my DBT folder

There is a short clip by Debbie Corso called 'What's in my DBT binder'. This gave me an idea to do my own - maybe you could do one yourself.

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

  Started doing yet another art journal page. Not sure how it's going but it kept me busy.

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity) 

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - touch/feel as I think using a paint brush gives you a soothing feel)

Oooh another favourite - I went to a cafe and had Gluten Free Orange and Almond Cake and an Iced Coffee - yes it may be unhealthy but it cheered me up after crying in KMart. Lol.

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building positive experiences)

See you tomorrow.

Day 4 of my week long challenge

***Warning - first paragraph may be triggering for some***

So my challenge is to blog (visually) 5 skills I use a day for a week. So far so good. Even today I feel miserable and I am still determined to get these skills done. Distraction for me while I'm feeling sad is most important so I don't focus on the suicidal thoughts I've been having. It's working but I'm slowly seeing where I could easily come undone - I guess that's why I set the challenge to be a week so I ensure finishing what I started. Using a visual diary has also helped as well as the blog as it seems I can put how I feel in pictures/words. 

Anyway, here are the skills I've used today:

Finished an art journal page I started yesterday. It is titled 'Positive Distractions'

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - sight)

 

I did a mindfulness activity I learned from one of my DBT trainers.

It's called 54321 See, hear, now.

You sit quietly and label 5 things you can see, 5 things you can hear and 5 things that tells you that it is right this moment. Then you do it for 4 things, 3, 2 then 1. 

Apparently this is really good if you wake up from nightmares too.

Skill - Core Mindfulness (describe)

Gathered my tax stuff today - blech. I even started writing some of it up. I am the biggest procrastinator so this is definitely building mastery for me.

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

 

I half smiled

Skill - Distress Tolerance (half smiling)

When I went to fill up the car I got self serve - woot woot. When the guy told me it was for a gold coin donation I immediately thought 'how rude' then I thought 'no I would be happy to donate to the charity of their choice so I did, even for more than I initially wanted to.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (contribute)

 

I meditated - it was so good.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (Improve the Moment by relaxing)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (observe breathing)

Skill - Core Mindfulness (participate - as I actively participated in each in breath and out breath)

Went to the library. Again I am a procrastinator and always take my books back months late. This time the books were 2 weeks late - yeehaw!

Skill -Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (acting opposite to emotion - as I definitely did NOT want to go)

 Found some funny pictures on Pinterest - OMG Hilarious.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Wow and the day hasn't even finished. It's amazing that I did that many skills and there are even more skills that I did like listening to music, burning oils and looking at Pinterest (of course). Keeping on distracting.

See you Day 5.

Challenge (5 skills a day for a week)

Well here I am back again for another round of skills for the day. It's funny because I am so not in the mood to do most of them but I am showing willingness (distress tolerance skill) to get through it. It's not that I am in a really bad way, it's just that it's my weekend and I want to chill. The way I see it when I'm willing is that it will eventually help me in the long run and really the things I did were not difficult in the least, if not fun anyway. 

 Showed some willingness to do these skills

Skill (Distress Tolerance - willingness)

  Swept the floors, cleaned the bathroom and did the dusting

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (FAST - being fair and truthful to my husband that I can do it)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

 

Sucked on a piece of lemon

Skill - Distress Tolerance (feeling a different sensation)

 Played this cool game with my son (he won like 4 out of 5 games)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (GIVE skill as I was being gentle, acting interested, validating and encouraging him)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building positive experiences)

 

   Lay in the hammock for a little in the sun and observed my breath

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - feel/touch from the warmth of the sun and movement)

Skill - Core Mindfulness (observed breathing)

 

 

 Ate and drank things that are helpful to my health and depression

Skill - Emotion Regulation (eating)

Skill - Core Mindfulness (wise mind in order to choose right foods for my body)

In regards to food, I have a book called 'Everyday Calm: 365 ways to a better you' by Laurel Alexander which gives tips on what foods are helpful. According to the book it says:

Some calming carbs are raisins, wholegrain cereals, bananas and potatoes.

To up serotonin levels you could have oats, bananas, dried dates, milk, yoghurt, cottage cheese, meat, fish, chicken, chickpeas and peanuts

To improve your GI intake which does something with something to have a calming effect you could have grainy breads, pasta, legumes/pulses, milk, fish, eggs, meat, nuts and oils. 

So there you go. The book mentioned above is fab but it's not all about food. I recommend buying it because I think it's closely related to DBT stuff. 

Till next time. 

Challenge (5 skills everyday for a week)

Getting excited about the skills I am using. I aim to do more than I've challenged myself to do but it's the blogging experience really that I am wanting. 

So here's today's skills:

 Patted my gorgeous cat

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - feel/touch)

 Looked at Pinterest (OMG I'm hooked)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (self soothe - vision)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (contribute)

 

 Played computer games for a short while

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

 

 Cooked something new with my son - Chocolate Mousse

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (GIVE skill as I'm spending quality time with him)

 Felt (what I call 'my hooters' ... rofl) my pillow pet

Skill - Distress Tolerance (feeling different sensations)

Did the dishes, hung out the washing and took out the garbage

Skill - Interpersonal Effectiveness (FAST skill as I acted fairly and truthfully by not passing off chores to my husband by saying I can't)

My favourite - watched a movie with my husband and son

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building positive experiences)

Till tomorrow.