The last day of my 7 day challenge

Well here it is, the final day of my challenge to blog 5 skills a day for 7 days. Today when I woke up I tried to think of some different skills to put to use. I did this firstly to get used to doing all types of skills that are in DBT (Dialectical Behaviour Therapy) and secondly so you don't see a repeat of images. My main focus today was to try and incorporate more mindfulness as well as observing and describing my emotions. So, among doing my usual oil burning and building positive experiences I also did the following:
 

After work I felt a great sense of pride at what I thought was a great job. 

I observed and described what I was feeling and made sure that when I arrived home I wrote it out in the Emotion Regulation homework sheet that I received during my course.

Skill - Core Mindfulness (observe)

Skill - Core Mindfulness (describe)

 

I started a jigsaw puzzle today and did all of the edges.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (activity)

Skill - Emotion Regulation (building mastery)

 I used all of my senses to describe this jigsaw box in it's entirety without judgment.

Skill - Core Mindfulness (describe)

Skill - Core Mindfulness (non-judgmental stance)

 I looked up cheerleading statements that are best suited for me for times when I desperately need to reflect on them. I looked on Pinterest for ideas and I looked through previous DBT homework sheets. I typed the ones I liked then rewrote them in pretty colours.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (Improve the moment - encouraging/cheerleading)

 I decided at the end of the day to take a vacation. I've had a pretty busy week so I took a book to bed and had an hour nap.

Skill - Distress Tolerance (Improve the Moment - vacation)

Skill - Distress Tolerance (Improve the moment - by reading I was doing one thing at a time)

So there you have it - 7 days of using 5 skills per day. I had fun. It taught me a lot and I really do hope I encourage you to try some yourself.

The next thing I blog may not be a challenge but I certainly look forward to posting again soon with something creatively different. Until next time. 

 

Using skills on a work day

With the DBT skills I find huge importance on practicing them daily even when I’m fine and not the least bit distressed. I choose to do this because I know that when I get distressed it is extremely hard to get myself out of feeling this way. When that happens for me it can easily lead to the urge of self harming or ideations of suicide (symptoms of the Borderline Personality Disorder that I have). This is why I do practice the skills daily – to make it such a habit in my life that when the time comes where I’ll desperately need them they’ll be there. 

Recently I have found it difficult to do a lot of work and have knocked back quite a few jobs. With the help of my psychologist I have slightly improved in this area and now I am working more hours in a day than I have in 8 months. Sometimes it can be a challenge to find time to practice DBT while at work.

This post is to demonstrate that you can find time during a work day to do many skills on the way to work, during work, at lunch time and after work. The idea is to have a plan so I stick to it as to not lose the practice time. I am lucky enough to only have jobs that go for 1 or 2 hours then I have a gap and go somewhere else for another 1 or 2 hours. Sometimes lunch breaks are the best time to practice.

Before arriving at work I:

 

 Eat a healthy breakfast

  Spend time observing my breath (about 20 minutes)

        Pray

 

 Do one thing at a time getting ready

While driving to work, (while being mindful of driving), I:

  listen to relaxing, calm music if anxious or loud pop music to lift my spirits

 encourage myself by saying “I can do this”, “I have done much worse than this and have gotten through”, “I only have to get through 7 hours, not 10 like I have before” etc.

At work I:

 

              half smile (if work is not going to plan, in meetings, at people I may not wish to be                    around, even on the phone to someone)

         try not to be non judgmental 

           do one task at a time (being mindful not to juggle many jobs at once)

                use GIVE skills (be Gentle, act Interested, Validate the person, use an Easy                                        manner)

At work, (during lunch/break between 2 jobs), I:

             might ask a friend to join me and maybe shout them their meal or;

 shout myself to something special (a piece of cake or an unusual juice)

go to the park/beach/nice location

observe things around me non judgmentally

After work I: 

continue to use GIVE skill with family at home

go for a walk

                give myself permission to have a vacation to relax from my day at work (after                        dinner and usual tasks are completed)

Just doing all of those things above in just one day covers about 13 DBT skills. I vary them pretty much on a daily basis but I have a plan at the start of the day. It doesn’t take too much time out of my day to do these and it certainly doesn’t interfere with my work. I believe this sets me up for having easily accessible skills for when things do go awry or if I have to deal with difficult situations that could possibly occur at work/on my way to and from work.

More on Skills When Incapacitated

A couple of days ago I wrote about using skills when incapacitated. It made me think how true it really is that no matter if you are lying down, curled in the foetal position, desperate for release or even when disassociating you can always try to reach out to a little bag of tricks that could get you through without even leaving your lounge/bed. I thought it might be handy to write some tips and who knows maybe a print out of these tips could help you get by or at least lift your depression just slightly. 

SKILLS TO GET YOU BY EVEN WHEN LYING DOWN

·         read

·         play games on your mobile phone

·         pat the cat/dog

·         think of pros and cons of you tolerating your distress and not tolerating your distress (if possible write these down)

·         describe something in the room non judgementally (if possibly grab it so you can describe how it feels and smells as well)

·         observe your thoughts and feelings, letting them go

·         half smile

·         listen to calming music (I have a collection sitting right near the stereo)

·         think different thoughts by listing/naming things such as:

-          dog breeds

-          fruits and vegetables

-          scientific words

-          occupations

-          countries

-          famous people

-          cartoon characters

-          plants/trees

-          boys/girls names

-          product names

-          authors

-          names used in the Bible

·         counting with each breath (e.g breath in 1, breath out 2, breath in 3, breath out 4 etc)

·         when someone is talking to you try to consciously use GIVE skills (be Gentle, act Interested, Validate them and use an Easy manner) – yes you can do this while incapacitated it just takes extra extra effort

·         look at a book with beautiful images (again this is something that I have handy)

·         use imagery

·         observe your breath

-          on each inhale count 1, 2 then on each exhale count 1, 2

-          on each inhale say to yourself ‘breathing in’ and on each exhale say ‘breathing out’

-          concentrate on the little ridge underneath your nose on each inhale and exhale

-          on each inhale say to yourself ‘calm’ and on each exhale say ‘relax’

-          put your hands on your stomach and feel the rise and fall of each inhale and exhale

·         pick up the phone and call someone you know that will listen, they don’t need to give you advice, they could just be there and say ‘uhum’ and that could be all you need to feel a little better

·         rub hand cream into your hands, observing everything you are doing (I have this nearby also)

·         pray

·         take the observe breathing a step further and actually do this for a full 20 minutes ensuring you are lying on your back with your arms by your side, palms up and legs extended out in front of you relaxed

SKILLS TO GET YOU BY EVEN WHEN LYING DOWN (with a little help)

If you are completely incapacitated ask someone to help you with the promise to pay them back. My advise however, would be to, in your own time, achieve this little step yourself which in itself will feel rewarding

·         light some candles or burn essential oils

·         have a cup of chamomile tea

·         brush your hair (get your helper to help you get up not to brush your hair for you)

·         do a puzzle

·         write down 5 things you are grateful for