.: A while since posting

Thursday, 18 July 2013

A while since posting

Well I completely feel ashamed of myself that it's been over 2 months since posting. Gah! Even though I have been successfully using my DBT skills to overcome some problems I have had some pretty serious things happening since the last post and just didn't have it in me to write.

What I wanted to share is that I completed my first 6 months of DBT - yay! I am disappointed I couldn't continue but the cost of it was just not something I could do. They will always accept me back as it is a continuous cycle of the 3 modules every 6 months so I can enter again after an 8 week module has been completed - phew!

What I found interesting is that as soon as I finished my course I stopped using skills. NOT GOOD. I felt so disappointed in myself as I lived, breathed and practiced it daily for 6 months then all of a sudden stopped. So I made it a mission of mine to get back on track so after about 12 days of neglecting the skills I started up again and the first thing I did was Debbie Corso's 8 day DBT Challenge to Feeling Better. Here are my pics (I adapted it to self soothe skills so everything you see is somehow connected to the 5 senses - sight, smell, aural, taste and feeling/touch).

Burning oils/wax melts/candles - Sense of smell

Make aromatherapy playdough - Sense of feeling/touch and smell

Listen to meditative/classical/feel good music - Sense of hearing

Watch your lava lamp from when it's cold to hot - Sense of sight

Watch the clouds go by - Sense of sight

Do some fingerpainting - Sense of feeling/touch

Consciously rub handcream on your hands/fingers - Sense of feeling/touch and smell

Appreciate beauty wherever you go - Sense of sight

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I guess this is really just a personal diary of my recovery of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a mental illness that has debilitated me for as long as I remember. Having been diagnosed with Major Depressive Illness for most of my adult life I have never been embarrassed to be open about it and tell people how I feel. With a diagnosis of BPD, which came just last year, I have been put off being so open about it because of the huge stigma that this illness brings. I'm hoping that with time I will feel okay about this going out for anyone to read because the last 12 years (when it was first suspected I had it) professionals have encouraged me to believe and feel that it is a hopeless cause and to never tell anyone about it. It is my strong opinion that I should never have to be embarrassed or felt to suppress a sickness that I did not give myself. Besides posting on here to express my feelings, I wanted to share my experiences of my recovery with the treatment Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) in the hopes to perhaps help others understand the illness and to demonstrate how DBT helps me. I am not a Dr or a psychologist and I am in no way a professional in the use of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy as I am just in the very beginning stage of treatment. I use images on here to also help me with my recovery and I apologise for not citing all of them.